I am hungover in Bed Bath and Beyond.

Why does this exist?

One man's take on Capri Sun-o-naise.

I love my coworkers.

3 topics in 3 minutes.

I don't know how long this bit will run, but it seemed to produce pretty good results yesterday.

1. Cloris Leachman
I did not realize just who this celebrated actress was, but her film repertoire ranges from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to 2004's favorite interracial romance, Spanglish.

Leachman is a long-time vegetarian. Currently, she is at work on a one-woman show about her life and career.


2. Chlorine
Perhaps we begin with Clorox (who recently acquired Burt's Bees, yes it seems unnatural, but alas)...

I think my childhood filled with wave pools is a better place to go.

I'll leave it to the imagination, as I don't have room to really "go there" as it were.


3. Claris Works
This mushroom image was created on ClarisWorks paint by David Klingman, 8th Grade, Mendocino Middle School.

I have little to say about Claris Works.



As for how these three topics interact with my friend's psyche, well, her name is Claire so I think its clear, all of these topics begin with same sound as her name.

ken dodging camera...

Stop or my mom will shoot.

Wikipedia says: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is one of those movies so dimwitted, so utterly lacking in even the smallest morsel of redeeming value, that you stare at the screen in stunned disbelief." Gene Siskel said "If this doesn’t turn out to be one of the very worst movies of the year, it’s going to be a very bad year." Sylvester Stallone has stated that this was the worst film he has ever done.

Critically panned, it was awarded three Golden Raspberry awards, including Worst Actor.

My amazing stereo.

My mom had glass custom cut for the three-foot wooden speakers that accompany this epic unit.

Five topics in five minutes.

I asked my roommate to give me five topics in five minutes.

1. Cerebral Cortex
is a structure within the brain with distinct structural and functional properties. In non-living, preserved brains, the outermost layer of the cerebrum has a gray color, hence the name gray matter.


2. Dynamite
is usually sold in the form of a stick 20 centimetres (roughly 8 in) long and 2.5 centimetres (1 in) in diameter, but other sizes also exist. Dynamite is considered a high explosive, which means it detonates rather than deflagrates.


3. Chili Cheese Dog
Easy chili dogs are made with canned chili, Cheddar cheese soup, onion, hot dogs, and crushed corn chips.

This one is not from Wikipedia.


4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
and officially known in the United Kingdom as Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles) are a fictional team of four anthropomorphic turtle mutants, who are trained by their sensei, Master Splinter, to become skilled Ninja warriors. From their home in the sewers of Manhattan, they battle petty criminals, evil megalomaniacs, and alien invaders, all while remaining isolated from society at large.


5. Dolly Parton.
(also known as The Iron Butterfly) is known for her distinctive mountain soprano, her curvaceous figure and sometimes bawdy humor, as well as her flamboyant dress sense.

Her family was, as she described them, "dirt poor", and lived in a rustic, dilapidated one-room cabin in the Great Smoky Mountains, in Locust Ridge, Tennessee. She once told an interviewer that her grandfather was a Pentecostal "holy roller" preacher.


What these five things say about my roommate's brain are open to interpretation. I was tempted to tell the story of improper fractions (bigger on the top than the bottom) which were referred to as "Dolly Parton" fractions in a middle school math class, but refrained from the extended trip down memory lane.

Oh tax season.

Another amazing graphic!

My ceiling is leaking!

Not ok Phantom Landlord.

We've got the periodic table on our side now.

At the tabe, we've been making a pretty serious effort to move away from the "her" jokes (a la Cobbler? I don't even know her) and toward the "him" jokes.


Today, the periodic table saved us.


Plutonium?
Selenium?
Lithium?

From Skinny Necks to Beer Die.

My Saturday night took place in an alternate universe.
This alternative universe of a night will result in a few too many pictures for one post, but there it is.

First, I met up with Courtney at Hugs in Williamsburg where I had lost my wallet earlier in the week. The wallet was retrieved, as were the incriminating picture stickers inside.

One sticker is missing, which is mildly disconcerting, but lets continue with our night.

Next, we took the L to Chelsea/Meat Packing District to the Jonathan Levine Gallery to check out these two artists:

Lori Earley & Tara McPherson.











After about 15 minutes of overcrowded scenesters, we took the elevator down and wandered outside. We went to Cookshop on 20th and 10th, and it was a delicious culinary experience. Some gorgeous cocktails including the Love Apple.

Then back to Williamsburg where we checked out the Hotel Delmano.

An interesting scene, to be sure. I'll try it again, but hopefully won't spill my entire drink on my dress 15 seconds after receiving it.

Magnetic Snow!

I am in the best mood today for two reasons.

1. The Magnetic Fields concert last night completely filled my soul.

2. I LOVE snow. So does the Hulk.

I have no other words but I am one happy camper.

Beware the Ides of March.

I have no quips or cranks for this one.

Andres Arazoza is to Andre the Giant as...

Becky Bloom is to Judy Blume.
Hannah Epstein is to Hannah and Her Sisters.
Lucas Kavner is to Luke Skywalker.
Emilie Trice is to Emily the Strange.
Jay Harbison is to J. Peterman.

Thanks Google.

Planet Bryan

We ended up at Planet Hollywood.























Metro ride to Times Square: $2.00
A drink called "Legally Blonde" and a million pounds of food: $276.19
The magic of friendship and burps that taste like puke: PRICELESS.

I am a loser.
I am awesome.

Why is this sideways??

It is making me crazy just like the facebook.

Hard Rock 4 Life.

Today we are going to lunch for Bryan's birthday at Hard Rock Cafe.

The Mushroom Man!

This morning I emailed my roommate advising her to pick up some mushrooms for our dinner tonight.

She responded with this.
Thank you Craigslist.

Thank you Mushroom Man, for holding that mushroom ever so tenderly.

And thank you, dinner last night, for leaving me with leftover mushroom-worthy pasta.

Lawnmower? I don't even know her.

At work I sit at a table.
At the table sit Chip, Maggi, Steph, Chris, and Ken.
We sometimes refer to ourselves as "the tabe," "the pod," and "table six."

We have our office "bits," if you will, and our favorite one includes any word that ends in "-er." "-im" or basically anything which then follows with "I don't even know ____ ."

LAWNMOWER? I don't even know her!

That was today's winner. Classics include:

Soccer? I barely know her.
Licorice? I don't even know...ish.
Stapler?
Commander?
Cleaver? (yikes...)
BLOGGER?!?

An archival post.

Since this blog is a spawn of my colorful history with image searching, it only seems right to do an archival post every once in a while.

Here are a couple favorites of mine. The first I like to describe as pure beauty, the second simply epic.

Most of you (and by most I mean Claire Wyckoff, the only person who actually "checks" my blog) probably don't know that Patrick Swayze is my third roommate. Typically he sits against our small couch (after all, its only his torso that rooms with us) and passes things such as remotes, mac and cheese, and cell phones with sketchy text messages between me and Abbey.
Sometimes he just leaves us inspiring notes on life.

My bro's in town.

My brother is moving here! Yay!!! He's in town this week!









These are some possibilities for Kiran Paranjpe.
These are not him.

Oooh baby (ooh baby) its making me crazy!

Yes, I'm quoting How Bizarre by OMC.
















I am proud to say I have this on my ipod.

Live it love it.

Mary Moon.

Being the 90s lover that I am, I recently remembered the amazing song, "New Age Girl" by Dead Eye Dick. You may remember it from the equally amazing soundtrack to Dumb and Dumber.

She don't eat meat, but she sure like the bone.

Not only did this lead me to watch the YouTube video on repeat, but it took me to a good old image search.

Here is Aunt MARY MOON!!!!

Show me that smile again.

kirk cameron is thriving. (turn on your sound)

...if by thriving I mean worshipping bananas.

My roommate wants to get fired.

So we are coming up with a list of things she can do during meetings to accomplish such a goal.

1. Show up in a beekeeper's outfit.
2. Bring a snake charmer to a meeting. Or dress as one.

There is something mildly to deeply disturbing about the male snake charmer's outfit...mostly because he's charming himself.

Great Googly Moogly

Welcome to my blog.

I suppose the premise for this is that I find myself doing google image searches of strange and normal things throughout the day ranging from "beekeeper" to "time is money" and, well, here I am.

Inevitably, I will end up including things I youtube, flickr, and just plain old google, such as the title of this blog, "Great Googly Moogly," which resulted in this sneaker.